It had been a while since she'd been out with her girls. Amal called them up and arranged a night out...just the three of them...just like old times. Her girls, hmmmn. They had seen each other through childhood. They had lived through acne and boyfriends and late blooming. They had been each others pillars through heartbreak, bereavement and failure.They had shared tears and laughter and fear. She loved them deeply even though they had somehow grown apart over the years. The consolation was always that they were there when she needed them as she was for them.
They were going singing. Something they thoroughly enjoyed and have never been able to outgrow. Rumaging through her wardrobe for something to wear, Amal thought about how lonely she'd been feeling recently and wondered if she was ever going to find true love again. She settled on faded blue jeans and a black sequined kaftan top and a matching pashmina.
It had been ages since she treated herself to a long hot bath. Deciding there was still time, she filled the tub with hot water, bath salts and jasmine oil and slipped in. She allowed her body to adjust to the heat before lying back and closing her eyes. The combination of heat and lovely rising fragrances made her feel a bit giddy. For some reason, the yearnings she had long learned to stiffle stirred as she began to imagine not being alone in the tub any more. She imagined him, faceless and strong, his hands rubbing her back ever so lightly as she relaxed and let herself sway to the rythm of his soft subtle massage. He stroked her back, shoulders and the nape of her neck till he was sure every strained muscle had surrendered. Pulling her back close to him, he caressed the length of her arms and began to sponge her all over, keeping his movements deliberately slow and sensuous. Amal could feel her heart begin to race and............the water getting cold! She snapped out of her daydream and hated herself for allowing such thoughts to evade her. Pulling the plug, she decided what she needed was a cold shower and proceded to have one.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Back to Amal...
The holiday did great things for Amal and the kids. They had fun and the nanny was wonderful, keeping the kids occupied so that Amal could wander on the beach and take long walks alone, she even went to a movie that made her cry. For reasons unknown, she felt much less vulnerable by the time they got back.
She drowned herself in work and put so much into it that whispers of a raise were making rounds in the office. About time too! She'd been steadfast and dedicated despite recent personal trauma. She had done well to keep things out of the office and maintained a very friendly but professional relationship with the team. Only Ike, her boss knew about the diviorce and even that was because they had come a long way and Amal felt over time Ike-the-spike (as he was known around the office) had earned her trust.Her mind strayed back to the day she broke the news.
It was her first day at work, resuming from her annual leave and Ike had asked for a lift back home. His driver had gone to the mainland to drop off the kids and was running late. Driving and chatting leisurely, she asked if they could stop over at Daisy's to discuss something. Looking back with amusement, she remembered the puzzled look on his face as he agreed. Once inside, she went ahead to order his favourite dessert and a soda and lime for herself. Being an avid sweet-tooth, Ike dug in and asked jokingly, 'what is this Amie, a bribe? What's the catch?' She smiled and told him she had something she wanted to tell him and wanted to do it early before he heard elsewhere. She had his attention now. He remained silent until she had finished and then asked her if there was any way he could be of help. He surprised her by telling her that a mutual friend of theirs had called and told him the day it happened, while she was still on leave. Ike explained that he knew she would tell him at her own time and commeneded the way she had conducted herself during the trying months before the divorce. She knew he meant every word and was glad to have him as a boss and a friend.
Her promotion, when it finally came was celebrated in the office with the customary chinese takeout, loud merriment and silly speeches. Ike's speech brought tears to her eyes and her colleagues made it worse by making jest of her.
Back home, she treated the kids to a movie and pizza at Silverbird and later that night, she spent ages on the phone with her siblings, chatting and reminiscing. She called her mother and asked for her prayers and went to sleep feeling lonely but happy.
She drowned herself in work and put so much into it that whispers of a raise were making rounds in the office. About time too! She'd been steadfast and dedicated despite recent personal trauma. She had done well to keep things out of the office and maintained a very friendly but professional relationship with the team. Only Ike, her boss knew about the diviorce and even that was because they had come a long way and Amal felt over time Ike-the-spike (as he was known around the office) had earned her trust.Her mind strayed back to the day she broke the news.
It was her first day at work, resuming from her annual leave and Ike had asked for a lift back home. His driver had gone to the mainland to drop off the kids and was running late. Driving and chatting leisurely, she asked if they could stop over at Daisy's to discuss something. Looking back with amusement, she remembered the puzzled look on his face as he agreed. Once inside, she went ahead to order his favourite dessert and a soda and lime for herself. Being an avid sweet-tooth, Ike dug in and asked jokingly, 'what is this Amie, a bribe? What's the catch?' She smiled and told him she had something she wanted to tell him and wanted to do it early before he heard elsewhere. She had his attention now. He remained silent until she had finished and then asked her if there was any way he could be of help. He surprised her by telling her that a mutual friend of theirs had called and told him the day it happened, while she was still on leave. Ike explained that he knew she would tell him at her own time and commeneded the way she had conducted herself during the trying months before the divorce. She knew he meant every word and was glad to have him as a boss and a friend.
Her promotion, when it finally came was celebrated in the office with the customary chinese takeout, loud merriment and silly speeches. Ike's speech brought tears to her eyes and her colleagues made it worse by making jest of her.
Back home, she treated the kids to a movie and pizza at Silverbird and later that night, she spent ages on the phone with her siblings, chatting and reminiscing. She called her mother and asked for her prayers and went to sleep feeling lonely but happy.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Didn't we?
Remember when we held on in the rain
The night we almost lost it
Once again we can take the night into tomorrow
Living on feelings
Touching you I feel it all again
Chorus:
Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all
The way you used to touch me felt so fine
We kept our hearts together down the line
A moment in the soul can last forever
Comfort and keep us
Help me bring the feeling back again
Chorus
Didn't we have the beat of times
When love was young and new?
Couldn't we reach inside and find
The world of me and you?
We'll never lose it again
Cause once you know what love is
You never let it end
The night we almost lost it
Once again we can take the night into tomorrow
Living on feelings
Touching you I feel it all again
Chorus:
Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all
The way you used to touch me felt so fine
We kept our hearts together down the line
A moment in the soul can last forever
Comfort and keep us
Help me bring the feeling back again
Chorus
Didn't we have the beat of times
When love was young and new?
Couldn't we reach inside and find
The world of me and you?
We'll never lose it again
Cause once you know what love is
You never let it end
Sunday, December 13, 2009
'Rise Above'
........Rise above! That was the in-house mantra. The kids mimicked Amal time and time again, lifting their chubby arms up slowly as they had seen their mother do so many times. Can't finish your homework?...Riiiise above. Angry cos brother grabbed your water colours?.....Riiiiise above. My,my! Oprah would be proud. She loved watching them. Even when they were doing nothing, no sight was more pleasing to her eyes.
As she drew the curtain on him in her heart, she couldn't help but wonder what his thoughts were.
She put on her glasses and began to google beach hotels in Ghana, her mind set on having a swell time with her children.
As she drew the curtain on him in her heart, she couldn't help but wonder what his thoughts were.
She put on her glasses and began to google beach hotels in Ghana, her mind set on having a swell time with her children.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Closure
Closure...........
That's what shrinks call shutting away a significant part of your life. Did you ever wonder who shrinks see when they have issues? Do they visit other shrinks or do they just roam around feeling superior while their grey cells continue to diminish? Remember that old saying 'it takes one to know one?' Closure my foot!
You can never shut out memories...ooops ok, you can..it's called amnesia and Amal was sure she didn't have that. Maybe MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). Cos they (shrinks) say when you're one person, you have no recollection whatsoever of your alter ego...what do they know?
Amal was sure she was sane. Although she couldn't forget, she was sure she was moving on. It didn't hurt anymore. Life would go on. She had promised the kids some time away and was thinking of her purse after a money guzzling project that took forever to complete. Their last trip together was chaos personified. It had to be somewhere she could afford to take the nanny too. She would forget him in Ghana, frolicking on the beach with the kids. YES!
Her mind drifted to a subject far more dear to her than anyone could ever be. Her lovely children. She constantly thanked God for them. Her raison d'etre. On this particular night, she felt a great need for comfort that was constant. She went to the children's room and said a silent prayer for them like she did every night while they were sleeping, only this time, she didn't turn out the light and close the door quietly behind her.She crawled into her Baby's bed and pulled her close. The scent of Johnson's podwer filled her nostrils as she snuggled closer. Baby stirred and Amal cooed her back to sleep.For the first time in a long time, Amal slept peacefully through the night.
The next days before the holiday saw a new Amal emerge. Feeling willful and rebellious, she charged across the office smirking at every man in sight and feeling very haughty and grabbing every opportunity to run them down.It was the dawn of a new Amal.She was tough and needed to show it. To whom in particular was the big question. She could have been wearing armour and carrying a shield for all they cared. No one noticed and it was evident that the amazon was in a jungle of her own, Amal cooled off.
That's what shrinks call shutting away a significant part of your life. Did you ever wonder who shrinks see when they have issues? Do they visit other shrinks or do they just roam around feeling superior while their grey cells continue to diminish? Remember that old saying 'it takes one to know one?' Closure my foot!
You can never shut out memories...ooops ok, you can..it's called amnesia and Amal was sure she didn't have that. Maybe MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). Cos they (shrinks) say when you're one person, you have no recollection whatsoever of your alter ego...what do they know?
Amal was sure she was sane. Although she couldn't forget, she was sure she was moving on. It didn't hurt anymore. Life would go on. She had promised the kids some time away and was thinking of her purse after a money guzzling project that took forever to complete. Their last trip together was chaos personified. It had to be somewhere she could afford to take the nanny too. She would forget him in Ghana, frolicking on the beach with the kids. YES!
Her mind drifted to a subject far more dear to her than anyone could ever be. Her lovely children. She constantly thanked God for them. Her raison d'etre. On this particular night, she felt a great need for comfort that was constant. She went to the children's room and said a silent prayer for them like she did every night while they were sleeping, only this time, she didn't turn out the light and close the door quietly behind her.She crawled into her Baby's bed and pulled her close. The scent of Johnson's podwer filled her nostrils as she snuggled closer. Baby stirred and Amal cooed her back to sleep.For the first time in a long time, Amal slept peacefully through the night.
The next days before the holiday saw a new Amal emerge. Feeling willful and rebellious, she charged across the office smirking at every man in sight and feeling very haughty and grabbing every opportunity to run them down.It was the dawn of a new Amal.She was tough and needed to show it. To whom in particular was the big question. She could have been wearing armour and carrying a shield for all they cared. No one noticed and it was evident that the amazon was in a jungle of her own, Amal cooled off.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Intro
Not sure how this works, but will give it my best shot.
This blog is up because I need to share my music with people who agree that music has no era, age or time. It is this timelessness that makes it the best therapy ever. My mood tells me what to listen to. Try out CAT STEVENS - THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST. This was way before I was born but it just lives on.....
This blog is up because I need to share my music with people who agree that music has no era, age or time. It is this timelessness that makes it the best therapy ever. My mood tells me what to listen to. Try out CAT STEVENS - THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST. This was way before I was born but it just lives on.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)