Everything but Nothing

Everything but Nothing strong about a strong woman
Broad smile, confident stride
Seeking peace on tired feet
At the end of each day, seeking sleep
No lean feat

Everything but nothing strong about a strong woman
Have plenty yet nothing still
Mind so strong, heart all weak
Her dark eyes speak and yes, they leak
For that is where Her heart finds strength
When the day is done, and new hope gone

 Everything but nothing strong about a strong woman
You only see what she lets you think
Joke's on you, 'cause in her heart she knows
Her peace will come when her work is done
Everything and nothing
All but none….about a strong, strong woman

Through closed doors

Slamming doors
In my hopeful face
Always

Walking through
To a place unknown
Maybe

Sailing by
My head held high
Someday

Holding firm
To change unseen
Definite

Going back
To what once was
Never

Look...don't close your eyes

Look away, look back, look ahead
Just don't close your eyes, whatever you do
When memories cloud your senses....look away
When you're lonely and cold....look back
When it seems your heart will burst...look ahead
Whatever you do, don't close your beautiful eyes

When the doors close on your heart
When the love no longer counts
When you stop chasing shadows
And a hollow makes it's home in your heart
When it feels you can't go on
Look away, look back, look ahead

Shed a tear, shed two if you must
Let the pain take its full course
And when you're done let the sun shine
Down on you and you'll be warm someday
Just don't close your beautiful eyes
Look away, look back, look ahead
Look away cos you're strong and you're brave

Hues of Lonely

So many interpretations come to mind at the thought of the word lonely. To behold and not be held, to love and not be loved back, to smile and not get a smile in return, to feel so much yet your heart is empty, to reach deep inside you to a bottomless pit of nothingness. Is that it? If the answer is yes, then loneliness, like depression, is a disease........a silent, slow killer.

I see myself slowly fading, sinking even. Where is my window? Where is my ray of hope. When will this heart sing? So many questions.....no answers.

I lie awake each night wishing many wishes. Wishing the arms tightly wrapped around me were not mine, speaking to my pillow when I have something to say. He never answers but in my heart I hear him speak. He says all the things I crave to hear, I hear him well. And when I cry, he gives me great soft silent comfort. I named him..... a name close to my heart. He knows all my secrets. He listens every night and he lets me hold him while I sleep but what pain? He can not hold me back, he can not love me.

Sense and sensibility. Am I on the brink, the verge of insanity? If yes, then it doesn't feel as bad as they say. Not bad....just empty. And the colours? Yes, I see them. A kaleidoscope.The many hues of lonely - they paint a picture of me.

If I could take you out
And put you on a platter
Garnish you not with gold nor silver
But with all that makes you what you are
Your strength, your beauty, your simplicity
Would they want you
I wonder

In my mind I can see
Them passing you by
Unable to see
The hidden gifts you hide
Some stop and stare
Some with a mocking air
I'm screaming in my head
Can they not see what I see
I wonder

You are what you are
My heart, My being, My me
If they do not see
Worry not, wonder not
I see, I know, I feel
The gift that is you
Keeping me strong
Making me the me that I am

The hand that fate dealt me

Life is like a deck of cards. Fate is the dealer. I look at my stack of cards and wonder about a lot. Whatever the case, this is my lot and I must forge on to make the best of it. Sometimes it feels like I'm not trying hard enough. Is this my best....really? Or am I just too beaten to push?
I'm weak, weary and weathered. But there is a little voice inside, telling me I must go on. My work is not yet done. God has seen me to this crossroads, He will lead me the rest of the way. I have never travelled alone.
My prayers will give me strength, my tears will soften the path. I look up and smile. The dawn of a new day, a new era, a new life. I have my faith to keep me warm.

Loud Silence

I'm calling out to you
My lips are open, loaded with a message
A cry for help, a plea for direction
I scream in desperation
For you to hear....my loud silence

I look up to the night sky
My eyes heavy, praying for rain
For only when it comes can they freely
Commune with the stars, their secret safe
Shielded by the rain, blinded by the pain
Yet you can't see...my eyes wide shut

I lift my hands high up to Him
Fallen on my knees, humbled by my needs
All my resolve slowly fading fast
I hear my loud silence
I see my eyes wide shut
I hear my heartbeat ....it tells me it's time
I wait, holding my breath, I wait
Peace...it is coming soon...I wait