Look...don't close your eyes

Look away, look back, look ahead
Just don't close your eyes, whatever you do
When memories cloud your senses....look away
When you're lonely and cold....look back
When it seems your heart will burst...look ahead
Whatever you do, don't close your beautiful eyes

When the doors close on your heart
When the love no longer counts
When you stop chasing shadows
And a hollow makes it's home in your heart
When it feels you can't go on
Look away, look back, look ahead

Shed a tear, shed two if you must
Let the pain take its full course
And when you're done let the sun shine
Down on you and you'll be warm someday
Just don't close your beautiful eyes
Look away, look back, look ahead
Look away cos you're strong and you're brave

Hues of Lonely

So many interpretations come to mind at the thought of the word lonely. To behold and not be held, to love and not be loved back, to smile and not get a smile in return, to feel so much yet your heart is empty, to reach deep inside you to a bottomless pit of nothingness. Is that it? If the answer is yes, then loneliness, like depression, is a disease........a silent, slow killer.

I see myself slowly fading, sinking even. Where is my window? Where is my ray of hope. When will this heart sing? So many questions.....no answers.

I lie awake each night wishing many wishes. Wishing the arms tightly wrapped around me were not mine, speaking to my pillow when I have something to say. He never answers but in my heart I hear him speak. He says all the things I crave to hear, I hear him well. And when I cry, he gives me great soft silent comfort. I named him..... a name close to my heart. He knows all my secrets. He listens every night and he lets me hold him while I sleep but what pain? He can not hold me back, he can not love me.

Sense and sensibility. Am I on the brink, the verge of insanity? If yes, then it doesn't feel as bad as they say. Not bad....just empty. And the colours? Yes, I see them. A kaleidoscope.The many hues of lonely - they paint a picture of me.

If I could take you out
And put you on a platter
Garnish you not with gold nor silver
But with all that makes you what you are
Your strength, your beauty, your simplicity
Would they want you
I wonder

In my mind I can see
Them passing you by
Unable to see
The hidden gifts you hide
Some stop and stare
Some with a mocking air
I'm screaming in my head
Can they not see what I see
I wonder

You are what you are
My heart, My being, My me
If they do not see
Worry not, wonder not
I see, I know, I feel
The gift that is you
Keeping me strong
Making me the me that I am

The hand that fate dealt me

Life is like a deck of cards. Fate is the dealer. I look at my stack of cards and wonder about a lot. Whatever the case, this is my lot and I must forge on to make the best of it. Sometimes it feels like I'm not trying hard enough. Is this my best....really? Or am I just too beaten to push?
I'm weak, weary and weathered. But there is a little voice inside, telling me I must go on. My work is not yet done. God has seen me to this crossroads, He will lead me the rest of the way. I have never travelled alone.
My prayers will give me strength, my tears will soften the path. I look up and smile. The dawn of a new day, a new era, a new life. I have my faith to keep me warm.